Friday, November 9, 2007

The Grand Re-opening

I haven't posted in awhile. You might have noticed. I've been feeling pretty ambivalent about this blog, lately. I've been feeling pretty ambivalent about a lot of things lately. I can't really put my finger on it. Nothing is wrong, exactly, there's just a general lack of focus in my life. I'm really good at coming up with extreme solutions to vague problems and one of the things I came up with this last month was to delete my blog (again) and give up on most other internet activities. Our family briefly considered getting rid of home internet service all together but decided against it.

In the end I decided not to delete my blog but to write an "On Hold" post and leave it alone for awhile. I never got around to writing that post but I have done a good bit of thinking and here I am, blogging again, hoping this hobby can be a small part of putting things together.

There are many sorts of blogs out there. I already write about my dear children but I want a place to write about all the other stuff in my life that my family really doesn't care to read about. This blog, at least for my part, needs a clearer focus. I also need this blog to be a tool for encouragement and accountability. More than anything I want to create a beautiful, welcoming, well-ordered home for my family. I want to live this vocation God has given me as perfectly as possible.

I'm a mess. Partly I mean that the dishes aren't done but mostly I mean that I feel all jumbled and disordered inside. There are many things I do quite well and I need to be reminded of that. If I blog about those things I can remind a few others while I'm at it. But I am also prone to despair. I bite off more than I can chew and I want to make everything perfect all at once. I need to take small steps forward.

So, an experiment. Robyn challenged me to write every day for one week. I'm going to further refine the challenge. I'm going to try to write every day for one week on one thing I've done towards becoming a better homemaker. If the exercise is encouraging and motivating I will continue. I define homemaking very broadly and I will still be an urban-dwelling Catholic through all of this. But I need a focus. I need a project. So, here I go . . .

(Oh, and pardon the "dust". I'll be fiddling with the template as time permits as well.)


Robyn said...

yay! It is so good to see this up!

Heather said...

Hi - I think we might be kindred spirits! I have two children ages 4 and 2, a husband who is ABD (all-but-dissertation, for those who are wondering), AND I can relate to everything in this post!

I for one would love to see more of us blogging the full reality of our lives, not just the things we are doing well, but also the things we are struggling with and how we tackle those problems. You've inspired me to try to be more honest (as in telling the WHOLE truth) in my blogging.